Are you prone to going on ‘mini-vacations’ during conversations?

You know what I mean…a bit of day-dreaming, drifting away while continuing to give body language signals that say ‘I am still listening’.

It seems we all do that at least every now and then. In fact, there’s a simple reason for why this is human nature – the “elusive 600.” *

Turns out, people speak at about 150 words per minute (wpm), but our mental capacity to absorb information is about 750 wpm. This leaves a gap of 600 wpm for our minds to wander. No wonder we might find ourselves getting lost in thought during conversations.

On the one hand, for me it explains why active, mindful listening can be hard. ‘Squirrel syndrome’ can kick in, when our attention is drawn away to the next, shiny thing.

On the other hand, it gives an opportunity to those people who can hold their attention span on the person in front of them. Why? While listening fully, we can process the person on multiple levels…their speech, their body language, their intent. We can use the elusive 600 on the person in front of us.

So, here are 5 tips to help you stay present in conversations and not get drawn away:

• Attend well rested. It’s easier to focus when your mind is well-rested and fresh.
• Practice Mindful listening. Focus on the person, observe and notice details in tone and body language. Take in more than just their plain words.
• Ask questions and take notes. Engage in the conversation to show interest. If you can’t ask questions loud in the moment, write them down.
• Minimize distractions. Actively anticipate and manage external distractions (e.g. phone, laptop) and internal ones (e.g. mental chatter).
• Ask for a break. If you find yourself drifting, don’t struggle in silence and soldier on – make it ‘public’ and ask for a break.

I truly believe that mature Leader Coaches use such strategies to turn the elusive 600 into advantage, to make their conversations more productive, meaningful, and enjoyable for all involved.

Wish you good, productive conversations ahead in the coming week!

Maik

* I picked up the concept from Joseph McCormack’s book ‘Brief’.