🕑 2 min Read

Imagine two kids playing up in a tree.

heir parents stand nearby, watching. Suddenly, the weather changes, and what was once a gentle breeze turns into a strong gust of wind, bending the branches and causing the kids to scream in surprise.

Both parents look up and shout.

Parent 1 to their child: “Don’t fall down!“
Parent 2 to their child: “Hold on to a branch!“

What happens next?

Child 1 tries not to fall down…and falls.
Child 2 holds on tightly to a branch, remaining safe.

The moral of this simple story: In the heat of the moment, the child who knew exactly what to do succeeded.

About Defining Goals Positively

What happened here?

Child 1 only heard what not to do and still had to mentally “flip” and decide what to do instead. This process is mentally costly and time-consuming.

Many people argue that our instincts are incapable of executing certain orders not to do something.

Example?

Please, DO NOT now think about a pink elephant with golden, shiny tusks dancing in a pit full of melted chocolate ice cream.

And also, please DON’T peek to the end of this article RIGHT NOW!

(You are welcome! 😀)

The Lesson?

Let’s become aware of when we set negative goals and, instead, phrase them positively. We are much more likely to make progress.

• “I should stop multitasking in meetings.” >> “I should put away my phone and engage with people in meetings.”
• “I should not flare up in anger.” >> “I should notice when anger arises and count to 5 before speaking.”
• “I want to make fewer excuses.” >> “I want to own up to the way I prioritize.”
• “I want to stop smoking.” >> “I want to smoke one fewer cigarette a day for the next 30 days.”
• “I want to stop eating so much.” >> “I want to track my food in a diary and write down a short observation note every day.”

Positive goal statements are easier to process. They move us TOWARDS something. They work WITH our brains, not against them.

Notice when you use negative goal statements and rephrase them. 🙂

Enjoy!!

Maik